Should You Get Personal Care Agreement to Care for Mom?
Personal Care Agreement for Mom

Should You Get Personal Care Agreement to Care for Mom?

Using a personal care agreement to care for a loved one is a great way to get compensated for the effort while at the same time preserving the loved one’s assets. Families often expect to care for relatives, thinking that it is part of their duty as a daughter or son, niece or nephew. Using a personal care agreement often makes sense, says AARP Bulletin’s article “Creating a Personal Care Agreement as a Family Caregiver,” if the amount of care is a few hours here and there, or paying a bill or running an errand or two.

However, what happens when a parent needs far more intensive care, like having their meals prepared, monitoring medications and help with daily activities of life like bathing, getting dressed and walking within the home?

It costs about $170 per shift for home maker or health aid services. Few of us are able to write that check.

Some children move in with their parents in an effort to make caring for them easier. That’s when the pay issue often arises. The caregiver may have to give up opportunities for their career, Social Security earnings and the chance to add to their own retirement savings. When the parent dies, the caregiver may find themselves without a home or a job. In this case, payment of some kind seems fair. That may also be true for adult children who take an ailing parent into their home.

The problem is, older people with limited income may not have the ability to pay for home care. There are public programs to pay for caregivers, including a family member, although not a spouse. Every state has different programs. Some long-term care insurance policies may cover a portion of home care costs. If these options are not available, then the family may have to decide whether to pay.

Here is one scenario where things go wrong fast: a daughter moves into her mother’s house, who pays her without discussing it with any other members of the family. When siblings find out, there’s a big family fight. If there is no written agreement, the payments may be considered gifts from Medicaid’s perspective, and could delay a parent’s eligibility for nursing home coverage.

The best option is to have a financial agreement in place. The questions to consider include:

  • Should the room and board be included as part of compensation, if the person is living with the aging parent?
  • Will the family pay for the caregiver’s health insurance?
  • Should there be time off for the sibling who takes the parent into their home?
  • What can the other siblings do to help?

The paid caregiver family member is an employee of the parent, and their income needs to be reported as taxable. The parent may need to file paperwork and pay employer taxes or hire a company that can manage the bookkeeping. The use of a contract and forms may feel overwhelming at first, but there will be many difficulties in the future avoided by doing this right the first time.

Learn more about the benefits of a personal care agreement.

Reference: AARP Bulletin (March 5, 2019) “Creating a Personal Care Agreement as a Family Caregiver”

Dementia and Guns: A Dangerous Combination

Here’s a worrisome statistic: 45% of all adults age 65 or older, either own a firearm or live with someone who owns a gun. That’s a lot of people and a lot of guns. Firearms are the most common method of suicide for people with dementia, says the article “Guns and Dementia: Dealing With a Loved One’s Firearms” from J.D. Supra.

A person who has a gun and suffers from dementia can put family members or caregivers in grave danger, if the person suffers from confusion and doesn’t recognize the people around them. An investigation conducted by Kaiser Health in 2018 looked at news reports, court documents, hospital records and public death records since 2012. They found more than 100 cases, in which people with dementia used firearms to kill or injure themselves or someone else.

What is the best thing to do? Talk about the guns before they become a dangerous issue, like the moment someone is diagnosed with dementia. This is not that far from the conversation that must take place about driving and dementia, or for that matter, driving and aging.

Frame the issue as one about safety for the person and their loved ones. This is also the time to discuss guns and estate planning. Have a conversation with an elder lawyer that addresses an enforceable agreement about who has access to the guns, where the guns should be stored and what factors will determine when it is time for the guns to be taken out of the home. The gun owner may not remember the agreement, when it is necessary for it to be enforced. However, having the agreement in place will give the family member or other trusted individual clear directions about what steps to take.

What should you do with the guns themselves? You can start by separating the guns from the ammunition. If possible, have the weapons completely removed from the house. Local and state laws about the possession and transfer of firearms vary. Therefore, the family should consult an estate planning attorney, who is experienced in the relevant laws. It may be necessary for a gun trust to be created, and for family members to undergo training and licensing, if the firearms are going to be maintained or transferred to them.

Reference: J.D. Supra (Feb. 12, 2019) “Guns and Dementia: Dealing With a Loved One’s Firearms”